I recently finished A.J. Jacobs' The Year of Living Biblically and I can tell you that it is one of the only books that has ever changed my life. I went into it skeptically because Jacobs is agnostic and his premise to live the Bible as literally as possible seemed offensive somehow. But several months ago my friend bought it and was raving about it; at the least I thought it sounded interesting so I read it. I thought the entire book was going to be Jacobs bashing the Bible and bashing religion and I expected to fight with him the whole way through but I found his year long journey through the Bible and his exploration of different religions beautiful and sincere. He approached the project with an open mind and allowed his heart to be open to God and in the end his life was changed. After his project was finished he went back to many of his old ways but he walked away with an understanding of a higher power and of love for your neighbor and of thanksgiving. In the beginning Jacobs found it difficult to pray to a God that he wasn't sure of but he found comfort in prayers of thanksgiving. After almost a year of routinely praying he finally felt the holy spirit.
In the few weeks that it took me to read the book I really amped up my own prayers of thanksgiving. I've always taken comfort in prayers of thanksgiving as well. There are just so many things I want to thank God for and sometimes I worry I won't remember to thank Him later so I spend a lot of my day popping in on God thanking him for random things. The past few days have been one of those moments when life just smacks you like a Mack truck and you realize how awesome it is! I've realized that at this point last year how incredibly unhappy I was and how wonderfully happy I am now. The part that does make me sad is that I allowed my happiness to be controlled by other people. My poor relationship with two people effected my relationship with my friends, my boyfriend, and my feelings toward myself. I began to see myself like those two people did; I was dumb because I wasn't in Honors, I didn't have a credible major, I wasn't a respectable woman because I cooked microwave meals; I wasn't fashionable because I didn't value $300 jeans, and the list goes on. My self esteem suffered which hurt my relationship with my friends. I'm almost positive that I was not a joy to be around during that time. I also began to rely on Andrew incredibly too much. In my head he would fix everything so I went running to him any time something went wrong. Although I was leaving that living situation I wasn't sure that I would ever make a good friend or roommate. I was convinced that those two people had to have some kind of reasoning to think I was so awful so they must be right.
Thankfully, I'm now in a new house with new roommates and I have loved every minute of it— except the ones involving Mose's litter box or basically anything else to do with Mose the cat. My roommates are the bomb and I don't think of myself through anyone else's eyes anymore. My friendships have improved and my relationship with Andrew is stronger now that I value myself and I'm not relying on him to build me up every day. Basically I'm immensely thankful! I'm thankful for every night I get to spend hanging out with my friends or roommates going out, playing games, or just watching tv. I'm thankful I have a place that feels like home.
Moral of the story kids? After my bad living experience last year I almost closed myself off completely. I was going to get a studio apartment and live by myself because I didn't want to risk having another awful experience. But I decided to open my heart one more time like A.J. Jacobs and I have been blessed beyond belief. It is amazing what God will give you if you open your heart to Him and give thanks for every blessing in your life, even the tiny ones.
P.S. — Whats up Aimee! Shout out to my steady follower. Now quit playing snood and read the book.
Just reread this... it's incredible how much has changed (again). You've come a long way from this... we've gone through so much change just in the last semester. Bizarre. So thankful you were with me through it all.
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